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Lizzie Butler – How To Make A Change, Overcome Fears And Communicate Better (#61)

How Lizzie overcame fear and anxiety and how you can too!

What do you think?

Lizzie Butler - How To Make A Change, Overcome Fears And Communicate Better | The Black Country Buddhas Podcast | My Home Vitality

Introduction to guest:

Lizzie is the Founder and Creator of LB Communications – an exciting business that shares the most essential communication skills for corporate and individual development.

In this podcast, Lizzie takes us through how she turned her life around after a nervous breakdown and how you can use her strategies to reinvent yourself personally and professionally.

Weaved into her story, she addresses important issues like:

  • The signs to look for when you’re on the verge of breakdown or in need of rest.
  • How to recover from a traumatic event.
  • How she overcame fear and retrained her brain.
  • How to find your passion and purpose in life.
  • How to find the job of your dreams, and how to get that job.

There are lots of practical tips and techniques for making a change and overcoming adversity in this one, so if you’re looking to evolve or transform as a person I’m certain that you will enjoy the show.

Key quotes and takeaways from the show:

“It starts before it starts.”

Distracting yourself and “making yourself busy” doesn’t deal with the issue.

Don’t be afraid to grieve.

Give yourself permission to rest. Don’t be afraid to rest. Don’t be afraid to do nothing. “I made myself a priority.”

“I don’t cry because I’m sad, I cry because it relieves pain.”

“The pills have not got me here so how are they going to get me out?”

Listen to your brain and your body. Your brain is looking to protect you. If you don’t listen to it, it will shut you down!

Useful techniques to prepare, relax and recover: diaphragmatic breathing, visualisation and the use of words.

You don’t “have” panic attacks, you “do” them. By reverse engineering your problems you can understand what not to do. Then you can focus on what to do. For example, controlling your breathing during panic attacks. “If you learn how to create them, you can learn how to stop creating them. My brain had learned that it’s a process and if you break the chain in the process, you won’t get the same outcome.”

Consistency over intensity.

Laughter and fun are great brain interrupts. “I learned how to laugh again and have fun.”

On visual preparation: apply the same modalities (five senses) to the task you are about to complete as if you are remembering it actually happened, not as if you are imagining or creating. “Create a good picture.” There is a difference between remembering something (a real situation) to constructing something (an imagination). Apply your own modalities (five senses) to that “memory” – bold, colourful, big black border, humming sound, clear, etc.

Get into the state before you operate. You must keep the state. Own your space and everything/everyone in your space. Confidence breeds confidence.

“We are emotional 1st, 2nd and 3rd. We feel before we think.”

In a panel of interviewers, only 1 or 2 of them will have the ultimate decision about who gets hired. Research them, present to them, communicate to them in their language. For example, if they like sport, talk in terms of teamwork, winning, effort, camaraderie, etc.

It’s not about you. Communication is all about them.

“Well packaged honesty.”

“A conversation is a presentation if you care enough.”

“Just give them what they need/what they’ve asked for.” Don’t second guess or try to add anything you think might be relevant… give them what they’ve asked for.

Presentation isn’t about content, it’s about performance. When you go and see a band, you aren’t in awe of them because they remembered all of the words.

“As soon as they’re aware of you, you’re influencing them.”

Influence and decisions are made before you are even aware: it’s subconscious and emotional.

Ecology check: checking the consequences of your future actions/plans and making sure you can deal with the worst-case scenario.

Lizzie’s decision making-process: Do I feel good? Does it sound right? Does it look right?

Hierarchy of criteria: put what’s most important to you in a weighted list of criteria (most important first).

“Rest is the number 1 performance enhancer. It is critical to your success!”

Depressed means “deep-rest” … you need deep rest.

Question of the day:

“Do you just focus on positive visualisations or do you consider the worst-case scenario too?”

Links to podcast sites:

Listen on iTunes
Listen on Spotify
Listen on Stitcher
Listen on Overcast

The full podcast:

Related episode:

Lizzie mentions the positive influence Chris Parker had on her life, several times during this podcast. To find out more about Chris’ brilliance, watch our discussions with him in the podcasts below.

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Show notes:

  • 00:00 – Overall show introduction.
  • 00:45 – Finding your purpose and getting things done in life – mhvpath.com.
  • 02:46 – Introduction to today’s show.
  • 05:08 – The build up to Lizzie’s breakdown.
  • 15:03 – Lizzie’s admission that she was not well and her refusal of antidepressants.
  • 20:56 – Lizzie’s approach to overcoming her problems.
  • 41:37 – Lizzie giving herself permission to rest.
  • 47:29 – Strategies for preparing and overcoming fears.
  • 01:16:21 – How Lizzie dealt with the loss of her grandma.
  • 01:19:38 – Advice for giving a presentation to a panel.
  • 01:21:15 – Influence is made before you are even aware: it’s subconscious and emotional.
  • 01:22:50 – How to decide on making a change and dealing with worst case scenarios.
  • 01:27:42 – An example of how to talk in someone else’s language.
  • 01:31:29 – The hierarchy of criteria.
  • 01:32:55 – Lizzie’s final message and how to contact her.
  • 01:34:20 – Where to find more on Chris Parker.
  • 01:35:03 – Gaz’s final words… don’t feel guilty about resting!
  • 01:36:28 – Shaun’s notes from the show.
  • 01:37:06 – A good resource for helping you make a change.
  • 01:38:01 – Next week’s guest and how to contact us.

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