Dealing with loss
It wasn’t a good weekend!
My football team, Wolves, were 2-0 up against Watford in the FA cup Semi-Final, having not won a major tournament since our friend Mel Eves lifted the League Cup in 1980. We entered the 79th minute of the 90 with a two-goal advantage!
We were on our way to the final, singing and dancing!
Then, we conceded a goal. 2-1 with just over 10 minutes of the game to go!
90 minutes were up!
Onwards to the final!
BUT… 2 minutes into injury time the ball gets hoisted into the Wolves box. Troy Deeney, a Watford player gets his toe to the ball, just before a Leander Dendonker, who brings him down inside the box… PENALTY!!!
90 minutes, plus 4, 2-2… Extra time!
Wolves go on to lose 3-2 in extra time!
What would your kid do?
To heal my wounds, I decide to watch some junk TV with my mother, something light-hearted and entertaining to take the edge off.
We decide on “What Would Your Kid Do?” – A game where parents have to choose what their child would do in certain situations.
One of the challenges included an empty tube with a rubber duck placed at the bottom, a trough of water and a jar full of utensils.
The kids were given instructions to obtain the rubber duck as quickly as possible by using the utensils to transfer water from the trough to the tube. There were spoons, ladles, sieves, straws, etc.
The first child was clearly a very smart girl. She took the ladle straight away, the best tool for the job, carrying water from the trough to the tube with machine-like efficiency, making quick progress.
The second child took a much more laid-back approach, first trying the sieve of all things! He then had a play around with the straw and spoon for a while before realising that all of the utensils were actually being stored in a glass jar!
After playing around in the water, the boy filled the jar and reached the duck within two attempts – literally seconds – whilst the girl took much longer!
Use the jar!
It’s extremely common for me to get bogged down in day-to-day tasks – working hard to get things done.
I get so immersed in using the ladle to fill the tube that I miss the point and get burned-out in the process!
The best approach isn’t always the most obvious!
Creativity and advance often occurs when you just play, enjoy the moment and think laterally – acting human, rather than robotic.
Unfortunately, most of us are so busy running back and forth with a ladle that I miss the jar on the table!
But it’s not our fault!
Play is usually sucked out of us by the education system.
We are taught to remember facts, regurgitate information and become ‘efficient’ because that’s what’s most useful in the workplace.
However, times are changing fast and, in a world where efficiency is being taken-over by machines, the value of us humans lies in our ability to be… well… human; not to mention the health benefits!
So next time you find yourself getting bogged down in the minutiae, enter a state of mindfulness, detach, enjoy the present moment and just play for a while.
You never know what you might stumble across!
Everything happening around me is very random. I am enjoying the phase, as the journey is far more enjoyable than the destination.
– Sushant Singh Rajput