Introduction to guest:
Diana Richardson is considered one of today’s leading authorities on human sexuality.
She has previously written seven books on how, in practical ways, a person can experience a more fulfilling sex and love life and has just written her 8th book which is called “Cool Sex – An Essential Young Adult Guide to Loving, Mindful Sex.”
As well as writing books, Diana has been sharing her sexual insights and experiences with couples through her ‘making love’ workshops in Switzerland, since 1993.
In this podcast we discuss styles of sex, Diana’s approach to “cool sex”, pornography, advice to couples and single people, and Diana also goes through some exercises from within the book.
Enjoy the show, give it a like and please subscribe for more!
Books: Diana’s Books
TEDx Talk: The Power of Mindful Sex | Diana Richardson | TEDxLinz
Key quotes and takeaways from the show:
Don’t aim for the peak!
Raise your awareness, consciousness and monitor your body. “Be in your body and relax.” Tune into your own body. Use your body as a tool to enter the present moment.
Relaxation leads to expanded body sensitivity. When we are tight we compress everything and we don’t have as many fine feelings.
The female body takes longer than a man’s to warm up to sex. Tune in to each other slowly.
Flow, be organic, let the body do its own thing, trust the body, get out of your mind… like a dance.
Be present! The more connection you have to your body, the more present you will be.
Pay attention to your body on an ongoing basis throughout the day.
Too much thought causes tension. It disengages one from the present moment.
Worrying about your performance and the expectations of your partner is a big burden to carry.
Unlearn habits in daily life that raise tension (e.g. women crossing legs and compressing vagina).
Learn to be more sensitive to the body. Examples – Tai Chi, Systema movement, yoga, dance, massage, jiu-jitsu, etc.
“The more engaged in sensation, the less sensitive we become.”
Sensitivity we are born with. Sensation is imposed.
We often feel when the body is bad (pain) but we don’t feel when the body is good.
There is a distinction between visualisation and fantasy.
Be more adventurous!
Question of the day:
“Is there a benefit to a female guiding a male through sex at her own pace?”
Links to podcast sites:
The full podcast:
One of the major lessons in this podcast is to become more consciously aware of your body and to expand body sensitivity through relaxation. Some of the best techniques for this can be found in the martial art (and all-round health system) Systema. Here’s a clip of Matt Hill taking you through some key movement patterns and how to become more aware of your body. For further techniques on breathing, movement, relaxation and posture, watch the full podcast with Matt here: #47: Matt Hill – Living Systema, Man-Eating Tigers, Breathing, Movement, Relaxation & Posture
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- 02:15 – What is “Cool Sex”?
- 08:41 – Women leading men in sex.
- 11:28 – How to start cool sex.
- 16:17 – The burden of performance and expectations.
- 20:39 – Practicing on your own and in everyday life.
- 24:10 – At what age should sex education be taught to young people?
- 26:26 – How martial arts can develop connection.
- 29:05 – How nasal breathing can help with erectile dysfunction.
- 31:37 – Discussing the different styles of sex.
- 36:25 – Using visualisation to improve the sexual experience.
- 37:26 – Mental and physical attributes of sex.
- 39:21 – Is cool sex only for couples in a loving relationship?
- 41:07 – Slow down!
- 43:26 – Can technology help us reconnect?
- 46:22 – Why write a book about sex for young adults?
- 50:24 – Be more adventurous!
- 52:17 – Key principles from Diana’s other books.
- 53:07 – Example exercises from the book.
- 54:46 – Link between Russian Systema and cool sex.
- 57:47 – Where to find practices.
- 58:30 – Diana’s final thoughts and recommendations.
- 01:00:37 – How to deal with fetishes.
- 01:01:17 – How do you produce a healthy attitude towards sex if you have had problems in the past?
- 01:02:54 – Gaz’s final thoughts and a sexual analogy.
- 01:04:18 – Where to find more and next week’s guest.
People and resources mentioned:
In alphabetical order:
- Bas Rutten
- Frankie and Grace (Gaz got the names the wrong way around)
- Grant Renier
- Jane Fonda
- Let Every Breath by Vladimir Vasiliev
- Matt Hill teaching Systema movement
- Slow Sex (book by Diana)
- The Oxygen Advantage
- The Power of Mindful Sex (TEDx Talk)