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Anger: 10 Tips To Help Put It In Its Place!

Ten tips on how to deal with anger effectively

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Anger: 10 tips to help put it in its place! | My Home Vitality

Emotional regression

Growing up, I was the puppeteer of my emotions. I could display a range of feelings whenever I wanted.

However, as I grew older, especially during my teens, my emotions seemed to dissipate, leaving only a couple that I openly displayed – most notably anger and humour.

My limited emotional vocabulary lead to limited communication skills and, after eventually realising this, I knew I had to broaden my emotional choice to improve my personality and lessen the negative aura I projected onto others.

Dealing with anger

Anger was the most common emotion I used, usually as an umbrella to protect myself from showing others how I felt inside.

After all, I had been trained that showing emotion was weak – something that blokes just didn’t do; you didn’t show you were sad or had a caring sole and you especially didn’t cry!

The reality is that, just like women, men have emotions too – but whether it’s family, friends, the media, school or a thousand and one other things, men are still pressured into suppressing their feelings.

Manage anger rather than stifle it!

The first thing we need to accept then is that anger is not an emotion to avoid – it is part of our make-up – it is who we are – but it does need managing!

Feeling anger is not necessarily bad – it can be a prompt, to alert us to certain situations or a motivator, to propel us through difficult times.

This is why the way we use it, and react to it, is of the upmost importance!

Harmful uses of anger

Directed at others, without restraint, anger can be fatal, destroying relationships and creating feelings of fear, upset and retribution in others.

Others can carry such feelings for years and may even be forced into their own anger cycles because of how you made them feel.

You can also damage yourself by not expressing emotions effectively and directing them inwardly, releasing stress hormones which eat away at your physical, psychological and emotional well-being.

Ten tips to manage anger:

Managing anger is the goal – the subtle balance between feeling and expressing anger without inflicting catastrophic damage upon ourselves and those around us.

There are also a few tips in here to help you completely avoid those unnecessary tantrums!

1. Walk:

When you get angry, try walking!

Tips to manage anger - Walk | My Home Vitality

It’s surprising how a simple walk can calm the anger monsters in your head.

Need the technique? Check out Gaz’s guide to “Zen walking.”

2. Learn to breathe the anger out:

Remember that breathing is a really important part of who we are, it can help us relax, sleep and reduce our levels of anger.

Tips to manage anger - Breathe | My Home Vitality

Just count how long it takes you to breathe in and when you breathe out add an extra two!

3. Notice how your anger works:

Feel how your anger starts.

Clenching fists, tightness in the chest and pressure in the head can all be preliminary symptoms of anger.

Tips to manage anger - Fist | My Home Vitality

Tune into when anger begins and use one of the strategies in this article to manage it accordingly!

4. Watch yourself getting angry:

Roger Federer, the tennis player, said that watching himself practice at a young age actually helped him identify anger and deal with it more effectively.

Tips to manage anger - Watch | My Home Vitality

Anyone who has seen Federer win in style, with his elegance and class, knows that this is a man who is not dictated to by his inner demons.

5. Lay off the booze:

Rather than drinking when you’re angry, talk about the issue or use a strategy you find useful.

Tips to manage anger - Alcohol | My Home Vitality

Drinking alcohol merely makes anger (and the possible consequences) worse.

6. Analyse the situation:

Check in your mind whether this is your battle to fight, and even if it is, is it worth the involvement?

Tips to manage anger - Analyse | My Home Vitality

Things look very different after calming down and reflecting back.

7. Get some rest:

Being tired affects our levels of irritability.

Tips to manage anger - Rest | My Home Vitality

When we’re in this mindset the smallest of triggers can get the anger juices flowing!

Use the sleep series for advice on how to get a good night’s sleep or a revitalising siesta.

8. Get your facts straight:

For many, anger is amplified by their immediate perception of a situation.

Tips to manage anger - Think | My Home Vitality

Gather the facts and think it through!

9. Have a bit of compassion:

Sometimes we react angrily towards someone who makes an accidental mistake.

Tips to manage anger - Compassion | My Home Vitality

Let it go – we’re human beings, we’re designed to be flawed and make mistakes!

10. Open up:

Last but definitely not least, open up about your feelings!

Tips to manage anger - Open up | My Home Vitality

Anger is an umbrella emotion which can mask the way you truly feel.

Start to explore and accept other emotions and allow yourself to own them!

A final word on anger

Like any emotion, anger has its uses but can also cause serious issues!

The art is to utilise anger rather than allow it the steering wheel on your journey through life.

Remember it’s okay to be upset about things… especially blokes! You don’t have to restrict your tears to when your team misses the winning penalty!

I hope you’re finding these blogs useful, if there’s any particular topic you’d like explored, please get in touch via steveguycounselling@outlook.com!

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2 Comments

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  1. Some great tips Steve!

    A much needed article I think… It is so true that we restrict our emotions to just a couple, I’m guilty of that myself – especially using humour to cover other emotions.

    The strategies that work best for me in terms of anger are:

    1. Detach – It’s a very mindful exercise and is exactly what you suggest with “watch yourself get angry.” If you can detach from a situation and see it as an observer or spectator, you often analyse it independent of your emotions. Also, it reduces the amount of things you do that would embarrass you if you watched it back!

    2. Breathe – again covered in your points above and related to meditation/mindfulness. I think a good meditation practice is a real useful tool here!

    3. Perspective – “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” – Wayne Dyer. I wrote about this in my article The Power Of Perception – there are very few things that need to be taken that seriously! Let go!

    4. Surround yourself with good people – If you have good people around you, it’s very rare that they will make you angry.

    Keep up the good work!
    Shaun 🙂

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